[Closed] Win – No We Are Not F♥king There Yet

by Kyla on October 17, 2012 · 91 comments

Sunshine and lollipops, attachment parenting and never having to raise my voice to my darling cherub who immediately does whatever is asked of him because he is just so well adjusted, of course… that’s what I thought parenting would look like. Instead, that’s me in the picture above, about five seconds before I grab my kid and storm out of the shopping centre, leaving behind a full trolley.

Ok, so it happened once and I apologised to customer service on the way out but that one time has to be one of the most embarrassing things to have happened to me since we passed the stage where he could explode out of his nappy or spew all down my back.

Due to hit shelves in November and available shortly on No We Are Not There Yet.com, No We Are Not F♥ing There Yet and other universal truths of parenting by Andrew Willis and Robin Swift is a picture book for adults that humorously details the not-so-glamorous aspects of being a parent, read a chapter of the book here to sample the brilliance.

I think this book is fantastic, it would make a great baby shower gift, I’ve had it for a couple of weeks now and it’s been passed around my family, left at kindy for the carers to read, borrowed by friends and talked about with spouses. It’s a great, humorous look at the funny-when-it-happens-to-someone-else side of parenting and everyone who has looked after a child be it parent, grandparent, auntie or babysitter will see familiar situations in a new (funnier) light.

I have 5 copies of No We Are Not F♥ing There Yet to give away. For your chance to win simply comment here to tell me your most embarrassing parenting moment.

This giveaway ended on 20th November 2012.

{ 91 comments }

1 Valerie October 17, 2012 at 12:41 pm: Like Beyond the Bump on Facebook
2 Valerie October 17, 2012 at 12:43 pm: Fisher Price – Laugh & Learn Apptivity Monkey. Cute Monkey with fun games.
3 Valerie October 17, 2012 at 12:44 pm: Subscribe to Email
4 Lesley Redman October 17, 2012 at 12:58 pm: I already like Beyond The Bump. This book would be great for cousin,she’s 45 & is expecting her first baby
5 Mick October 17, 2012 at 1:04 pm: already Like Beyond the Bump on Facebook. What looks like a brilliant book – so love the title
6 Mick October 17, 2012 at 1:05 pm: Have shared but how do you tag your facebook page in your update??
7 Lesley Redman October 17, 2012 at 1:20 pm: When my eldest boy was 2,I had twin boys.3 boys in 2 years.They are 24 &22 now,so we all survived.To be honest I can’t really remember any embarrassing moments.When they were little we spent a lot of time at home in backyard &at the park.With 6 little hands I didn’t go many places where being embarrassed was quiet likely.It was very fast &furious back then.Boys are always moving,like foot in faces kind of thing -_- lol
8 Rachel K October 17, 2012 at 3:23 pm: I am yet to be blessed with a “most embarrassing parent moment” but I’m sure it’s only round the corner! I guess the ones where the kids ask “Why is that Lady….” on top of their voice so everyone can hear including “that lady” would be on top of the list!
9 Rachel K October 17, 2012 at 3:23 pm: Subscribed to your RSS feed, Email or bloglovin
10 Rachel K October 17, 2012 at 3:24 pm: Liked Beyond the Bump on Facebook
11 Rachel K October 17, 2012 at 3:24 pm: Following Beyond the Bump on Twitter
12 Rachel K October 17, 2012 at 3:25 pm: Share this giveaway on Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?src=bm&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.beyondthebump.com.au%2F2012%2F10%2Fnotthereyet%2F&t=Win+-+No+We+Are+Not+F%26hearts%3Bking+There+Yet&v=3
13 Rachel K October 17, 2012 at 3:26 pm: Shared on Twitter
14 Lesley Redman October 17, 2012 at 4:08 pm: I’ve shared this fun prize on my facebook
15 Stephanie Veljanovska October 18, 2012 at 10:18 am: When my son was a Newborn out of NICU. We went to Centrelink to organise my Paid Parental Leave. My son was screaming at the top of his Lungs and I remember getting all Flustered and these Group of Girls standing around Laughing at me. I was so Embarrassed and Angry.
16 Stephanie Veljanovska October 18, 2012 at 10:19 am: Like Beyond the bump on Facebook.
17 Stephanie Veljanovska October 18, 2012 at 10:20 am: Follow Beyond the bump on Twitter
18 Sharon Markwell October 18, 2012 at 11:15 am: Have liked Beyond the Bump on Facebook
19 Sharon Markwell October 18, 2012 at 11:15 am: I subscribe to your newsletter
20 AmberB October 18, 2012 at 7:20 pm: Dealing with temper tantrums in public.
21 AmberB October 18, 2012 at 7:20 pm: My favourite sponsor product is Bamboo Babies ‘Print Dress – Lotus Cherry Blossom’
22 Angie Boylan October 18, 2012 at 8:51 pm: My boys who have obviously seen the ‘don’t smoke’ ads on TV always yell at the tops of their voices whenever they see someone smoking – MUM LOOK THAT LADY/MAN IS SMOKING!! It’s quite embarassing.
23 Angie Boylan October 18, 2012 at 8:51 pm: Follow on facebook Angie Boylan
24 Angie Boylan October 18, 2012 at 8:51 pm: Subscribe to emails
25 Angie Boylan October 18, 2012 at 8:52 pm: Follow on twitter
26 Mary Preston October 18, 2012 at 8:53 pm: I could tell you about the time we left puddles all the way through the supermarket – toilet training is fun!!

Mop up in aisle ….
27 Angie Boylan October 18, 2012 at 8:53 pm: shared on FB http://www.facebook.com/angie.boylan.3/posts/395838760488785
28 Angie Boylan October 18, 2012 at 8:54 pm: Shared on twitter https://twitter.com/AngBoy74/status/258883739860471808
29 Mary Preston October 18, 2012 at 8:55 pm: Email subscriber
30 Mary Preston October 18, 2012 at 8:57 pm: Like Beyond the Bump on Facebook
31 Dee October 18, 2012 at 9:29 pm: In the supermarket with my eldest son, then 8. At the checkout, and he grabs my sanitary products from the conveyer belt, just as they reach the checkout chick and he yells at the top of his lungs ‘Mum what are these for, what do you do with them? Are they a surprise for me? Can you tell me, can you tell me now? I bet they’re lots of fun, are they??’. The poor girl scanning the groceries giggled shyly as I turned beetroot red. All I could say was I’ll tell you when we get home, which I did not!
32 Sarah Phillips October 18, 2012 at 11:03 pm: Recently I was taking my children (14 months & almost 3) to Megamania. Unfortunately for me we had to walk through a shopping centre and as we walked past EB Games my daughter (3yo) caught sight of a Dora Playstation Game. She thought it was a DVD. Pushing a pram & holding onto her with a kiddie harness, she started screaming because I kept walking hoping to get to Megamania asap as I knew she’d forget Dora once there. Easier said than done. Kicking and screaming on the ground the whole way people were staring at us & I felt like the worst mother ever. Arrived at Megamania & all was well – except mum’s dignity.
33 Sarah Phillips October 18, 2012 at 11:04 pm: Liked Beyond the Bump on Facebook
34 Sarah Phillips October 18, 2012 at 11:04 pm: Subscribed to emails
35 Angie Boylan October 20, 2012 at 7:07 am: shared on FB http://www.facebook.com/angie.boylan.3/posts/167327183406412
36 Angie Boylan October 20, 2012 at 7:10 am: shared on twitter https://twitter.com/AngBoy74/status/259400442507829249
37 Lesley Redman October 20, 2012 at 10:08 pm: This book is great. Love the line Screaming Like a Banshee. Oh how kids can be such little darlings at times,just absolute treasures Are we there yet? lol
38 Angie Boylan October 21, 2012 at 8:25 am: shared on FB http://www.facebook.com/angie.boylan.3/posts/218987961564434
39 Sarah October 21, 2012 at 9:34 am: Liked on Facebook.
40 Tish October 22, 2012 at 11:03 am: Going to a friends house for dinner and finding your child has poo’d on the floor in their bathroom and there son was playing in it.
41 Fabian October 22, 2012 at 1:58 pm: I took my son to swimming lessons at the local pool.
While in the changing room a huge fat guy walked out of the showers towards us.

My son stared directly at him for a few moments, then when the three of us were standing in triangle opposite each other, my son pushed his chest together, turned and yelled. “LOOK DAD, I’VE GOT MAN BOOBS!” .
42 claire evans October 23, 2012 at 1:02 am: no toilet, no problems…2 year old just grabs a bucket off the shelf in the shop and fills it and proudly remarks “my wee is not in my pants”!!!
43 Kim m October 23, 2012 at 9:47 pm: When my daughter was sitting in a trolley at the checkout and did a wee, which went all over the floor, it was horrible..
44 Kim m October 23, 2012 at 9:48 pm: I like you on facebook
45 Kim m October 23, 2012 at 9:48 pm: I subscribe by email
46 Adriene L November 7, 2012 at 9:16 pm: My kid told her carer she’d heard mummy and daddy making noises at night :}
47 Adriene L November 7, 2012 at 9:16 pm: Subscribe to our RSS feed
48 Adriene L November 7, 2012 at 9:16 pm: Like Beyond the Bump on Facebook
49 Adriene L November 7, 2012 at 9:17 pm: Follow Beyond the Bump on Twitter
50 Monique Williams November 10, 2012 at 11:43 am: subscribed to emails, rss and shared on fb (Dont know how to tag you in it tho??)
51 Lee Tancredi November 15, 2012 at 12:27 pm: Wow, some of these are hilarious! At 16 month old, my son has not managed to embarrass me thus far. Looks like I have a lot to look forward too!
52 Lee Tancredi November 15, 2012 at 12:27 pm: Subscribed to your Email
53 Lee Tancredi November 15, 2012 at 12:28 pm: Like Beyond the Bump on Facebook
54 Lee Tancredi November 15, 2012 at 12:28 pm: Following Beyond the Bump on Twitter
55 Darya November 15, 2012 at 3:20 pm: My toddler screaming her lungs out in the Kuala Lumpur airport when I refused to give her a breast. It was awful. All the locals were looking at us with disgust… Asian kids are so better behaved…
56 Darya November 15, 2012 at 3:21 pm: I like Beyond the Bump on Facebook!
57 Darya November 15, 2012 at 3:22 pm: I am an e-mail subscriber.
58 Darya November 15, 2012 at 3:57 pm: I have shared on Facebook!
59 Darya November 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm: I like Bow Top at Bamboo Babies!
60 Darya November 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm: I like Giggle and Hoot Hand Puppets at Teddy Treasures!
61 Darya November 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm: I love Rose Quarts Necklace at Honeysnaps!
62 Sasha November 17, 2012 at 12:34 pm: My most embarassing moment was my toddler wetting himself in the middle of the busiest shopping centre and a woman pointing at us! It was horrible.
63 Sasha November 17, 2012 at 12:36 pm: I am your e-mail subscriber.
64 Sasha November 17, 2012 at 12:36 pm: I follow Beyond the Bump on Twitter!
65 Sasha November 17, 2012 at 12:37 pm: I like Beyond the Bump on Facebook!
66 Sasha November 17, 2012 at 12:39 pm: I have shared this competition on Facebook.
67 Sasha November 17, 2012 at 12:41 pm: I love Christmas All My Love Bear at Teddy Treasures.
68 Sasha November 17, 2012 at 12:42 pm: Love Bamboo Zoo Monkey Shaker at Bamboo Babies!
69 Sasha November 17, 2012 at 12:42 pm: I also like Red Carnelian Necklace at Honeysnaps.
70 Cathy November 18, 2012 at 12:39 am: My daughter used to say “f” for “r”. She had a tantrum one day in the toy shop raging about the “r-ocking horse” but it sounded so much worse!! Lots of disgusted looks by other customers. I just wanted the ground to open up!
71 Cathy November 18, 2012 at 12:39 am: I like Beyond the Bump on Facebook!
72 Cherie Davis November 19, 2012 at 7:44 am: I dont have kids but probably when walking my youngest brother across the crossing at school many years ago and he yelled out to his mate in front hey look at your mums bum…it was a little on the large side and swaying back and forth…he was in kindy…lol I could have died on the spot…love the kid
73 Renee Ballantyne November 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm: I went to the chemist to fill a script for the pill and my son asked me what the medicine was for. I quietly said to him ‘so mummy doesn’t have any more children’. Kids just don’t have quiet voices and he replied with ‘why don’t you just stop having sex mum?’. All eyes were on me…..red faced and embarrased!
74 Danielle Shipperlee November 20, 2012 at 9:06 am: Liked the Beyond The Bump facebook :)
75 Clair November 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm: My most embarrassing moment was when my daughter kept saying she needed to go to the toilet and then she did – on Safeway’s floor!
76 Alison November 20, 2012 at 6:21 pm: Having 5 kids I have had many embarrassing parenting experiences. Probably the most memorable though would be when my eldest (now 15) was about 4 years old. We were lunching at the local club when my mother announced she needed to go to the toilet. As she headed for the rest room he shouted after her, “Don’t forget to wipe your bum Grandma!”
77 Brinder Singh November 20, 2012 at 6:44 pm: My most embarrassing moment was when I was abused in front of a crowd of people because of my child and his behaviour, in the middle of a family football club, we were there celebrating a dear family’s birthday at the time. My son is Autistic and I was only 19, but felt like dying. Back then Autism was not as widely known as it is now, so my son was just labelled as a naughty child.
78 Joselle Griffin November 20, 2012 at 9:13 pm: My 2 year old son was with me in Kmart when he spotted an older woman with long grey hair… He yelled at the top of his voice while pointing ‘lok mummy, a scary wiiiiiiiiitch’! I very nearly died…poor woman walked off quite quickly!
79 Joselle Griffin November 20, 2012 at 9:15 pm: Liked on Fb
80 Sammi November 20, 2012 at 9:25 pm: My daughter hitting me and screaming “You are bad, bad mommy” at a family function. I cried for hours after that!
81 Sammi November 20, 2012 at 9:27 pm: I am an e-mail subscriber.
82 Sammi November 20, 2012 at 9:29 pm: I like Beyond the Bump on Facebook!
83 Sammi November 20, 2012 at 9:30 pm: I like Large Rabbit Toy at Teddy Treasures.
84 Sammi November 20, 2012 at 9:31 pm: Red Coral Bracelet with Rose detail is my favourite at Honeysnaps.
85 Sammi November 20, 2012 at 9:32 pm: I like Basic Boy Jean at Bamboo Babies!
86 Sammi November 20, 2012 at 9:34 pm: I have shared this on Facebook!
87 cher haining November 20, 2012 at 11:07 pm: I was desparate for something to wear to my brother’s wedding. Although my 3 year old son hated shopping, I had to take him with me. I was in shoeless in my underwear in the change room, when I realised he had ‘escaped’. Without thinking I took off after him. I was running, down the Mall when I realised I was not dressed. So embarrassed. That day I bought a harness for him and never again took him out with it firmly attached to both of us.
88 Melissa White November 21, 2012 at 11:58 am: Mine’s prob not too uncommon but probaly my 4 year old announcing at the top of her voice how big my boobies and belly were in the dressing room, then proceeding to throw open the curtain to give everyone an eyeful! Gotta laugh or you’ll cry
89 Melissa White November 21, 2012 at 11:58 am: liker of btb on fb
90 Melissa White November 21, 2012 at 11:58 am: Red Coral Bracelet with Rose detail is my favourite at Honeysnaps.
91 Melissa White November 21, 2012 at 11:59 am: Love Bamboo Zoo Monkey Shaker at Bamboo Babies!